Responses to Commenters

Yes, I have read and am currently reading AP books by the Sears family as well as books on other methods. I do so so that I can help identify what a family is doing and experiencing. I then help them identify and change what is not in harmony with their priorities and not progressing to their goals. Most impotantly we work together to understand and meet their baby's individual needs.

Newborn Care Specialist is not a well known term because it has commonly been referred to as a "baby nurse." I am not a doctor, I am not a nurse or any other medical professional, so I choose to go by Newborn Care Specialist (NCS) along with a group of women who also do what I do. NCSs are specialized childcare givers and advisors. Some are actually nurses, some even hospital nursery nurses. *NCS services do not replace or override any doctors visits and orders.

At this time I am not going to go into quoting the research I have done because it would be futile. There is however strong research, evidence, and countless documented experiences to prove that parent directed routines - and here is the important part- based off of what we know about infants' rythm and needs is very healthy, functional and peaceful. Likewise, there is research and studies that prove that attachment parenting is also healthy, functional and peaceful. Most facts about infants (such as how they sleep and why) are stated the same in AP books as they are in traditional parenting books. Most theories also encourage parents to respect their baby's individual needs as well as their own needs as the parent. The difference is how that data is interpreted and what experts and real families' experiences suggest we should do about it.

So I could go on to try to list information that proves one method or theory over another. I am sure I could find empiracle evidence as well as real life experiences that both prove and disprove each and every method and theory. That is just the thing here. That is why there is a "debate." That is why both AP and CIO families act like they have something to defend or prove. Its the same with religion, immunizations, death penalty vs die in jail, socialized healthcare vs independant free market healthcare, and on and on....

In my life I feel blessed to have learned that truth is subjective, relative, and changing based on each individual's interpretation. And our interpretations can and IMO should change with experience. What is absolutely true for me is not true for everybody, and what is true for me today could change tomorrow. That is life.

Are we not here to live, gain and grow from it, loving, tolerating and accepting others along the way? So instead of proving who is right and who is wrong until we are all blue in the face, lets just acknowledge that all of us here are conciencious enough in doing what is best for our families that your kids and my kids are all happy, well loved kids that really will turn out okay!

Control Freak??

So two mommy friends of mine left comments about how important it is for dad to be involved.  And you know what, they are RIGHT!  It makes me ask myself, "why did I say that?" [that being: "No offense but parenting seems more like a woman/mother's domain to me. Most effective households I am familiar with are run by women and the dads follow her advice and lead."]  "Am I around a lot of absentee dads?  Am I just a mommy control freak???  Is my hubby an uninvolved dad?"  So here are my answers to myself.

Nope, I am not around a lot of absentee dads, and my guy and my dad are both great dads!  My hubby has two school aged kids and being their dad has been his NUMBER 1 love and passion in life since before he ever had them!  Unfortunately, since our getting together alomst 3 years ago we have lived so far from them that he only sees them every other weekend plus a little extra on breaks and holidays, and when he works in their hometown he get to spend every night with them.  Okay so what about him and our daughter?? Well thats a little less fortunate.  He has been working such long hours there are many days he does not see her :(  So yeah, I totally run the show.  And I actually kinda like it that way!  I don't like him missing out on her and I get sad when he doesn't try harder to spend time with her.  So what is it then?  I guess I just know how I want to parent her and luckily for me he is all for it.  I'm used to being the go-to person for dealing with kids, so when his kids come I guide and advise him on how to handel them better; not a totally fair point though because its easy for it to be clear to me since I am often on the outside of the situation looking in. 

The point of this blog?  To realize that I want to be the expert and run the show I guess, lol.  I just didn't know it bc I don't act bossy or controlling... but then again I don't have to bc its just me and the baby.  And that reminds me that when I was 15 I wanted my own baby that I didn't have to share with the dad.  Not so terrible for a 15 year old but for a happily coupled 29 yr old? I don't think so!  Let me end my saying that I love my man so very much and I love sharing my life and our daughter with him.  I look forward to easier financial times so we can actually do that!